 This time of year I feel like I’m sitting in the middle of a pressure cooker. The energy and tension seem to build until it shifts quite dramatically on January 1st. I am so curious about it. I study/observe/sit with it year after year. Certainly it is a transition and humans often struggle with transitions of all sizes in big and small ways. But at this time of year we are urged to move through the transition without a hint of honoring the trepidation we might be feeling and so I think for many it becomes an unconscious pressure that miraculously feels lighter when New Year’s Day comes around. But this has left me wondering “How often in our world are we invited to simply linger in the in-between?”
In my tradition, the in-between, the thresholds are something to be sanctified. We place a ritual object called a mezuzah within our doorframes. This relic for me is a deep reminder that beauty and the divine can inhabit the smallest of spaces and that the in-between is just as valuable as where I am headed. A mezuzah also reminds me no matter how small or large a space is, it can be a place for contemplation, connection, and devotion. At this gate of the new year, my first invitation is for you to literally sit in a doorway. I like to sit (or stand) with my back leaning against one side of the doorframe (with the mezuzah above my head) facing the other side of the door frame. Here I sit and envision the mezuzah dropping a sacred divine blessing into the top of my head. If do not have a mezuzah and you would like to have your own sacred image in your doorframe that would be lovely (or any image that feels like a blessing to you - a dove, heart, spiral, sun, star, moon, etc). You can visualize the symbol or tack one up above you and then sit against the doorframe and breathe. Feel the threshold supporting you, not pushing you into the present or the past, but to linger in this in-between space and notice if even a drop of your being says “thank you.” My second invitation is into reflection with me. Not to change anything (you can if you want), but to take account of your life lived. To create space for what dwells inside you: your hopes, dreams, frustrations, disappointments, resentments, insecurities, talents, grief, gifts, and everything else which resides in your being-ness. Where are the thresholds inside you - the places where two emotions, two feelings, two thoughts touch? What is the smallest drop of reverence and devotion you can invite into this internal threshold? What oh-so-very-ordinary, mundane space inside you can you adorn with a sacred, beautiful energy to show how miraculous the ordinary truly is? I hope as you move into this next year, the threshold is a space where you can return to again and again as a source of blessing, wisdom, compassion, and gentleness for the journey of being human. Blessings, Valerie
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 The days leading up to the winter solstice are my favorite time of the year. I love the longer nights which welcome cozy evenings at home and an early start to bed. I enjoy bundling up for chilly walks and the Christmas lights that bring whimsy to the neighborhood. I used to think I was so weird for this being my favorite time of year when summer is often highlighted as the season of fun. But the winter suits my nature and my sensory system best. I feel less resistance to being me this time of year.
And that is the beauty of being human, we can each have our own predilections and propensities. Where it gets murky is when societal (and individual) expectations send messages of what we enjoy and embody are wrong. I am passionate about fertile darkness, nighttime, the hidden mysteries, grief, sadness, and loss. I love talking about them because for many of us these are topics not welcome in our daily lives. We haven’t been taught to be with each other in our pain and discomfort without rushing towards fixes and answers. But for grief, loss, sadness, and pain - often the fix is being with, offering spaciousness, and time for us to feel what is within us. Now I do not want anyone to be stuck in their suffering, or to feel alone in it. But if we are always pulled out of our very natural experience of discomfort it will stay a wound prone to festering. I dream of a world where someone asks me “How am I” and they really want to hear the answer. They want to enter into my humanity with me. There is no greater gift than being seen, heard, and deeply understood. But how do we package that up and put it under the tree or the menorah? So, this solstice my invitation is who can you give the gift of witnessing them in their humanity? Offering them all the time, spaciousness, and regard the human soul is worthy of. To invite them to share what love looks and feels like to them, what heartache and regrets they carry (as we all carry them), and the joys they hold close but are too afraid (embarrassed, shy, worried, etc.) to share. To show them they have your love no matter if they fall to pieces, lose control, or inhabit the messiness of their humanity. Gift them companioning because their humanity makes them worthy of companionship instead of having to earn it by putting on a smiling face and a mask of happiness. This is my invitation and my prayer for each one of us. That we have those in our lives who can witness and hold us in the full range of our humanity. AND that we have the courage and willingness to be the person who is the witness for others. Solstice Blessings, Valerie |
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