Tarot Images: Modern Witch Tarot, The Light Seer Tarot, R. Black Tarot, Melanated Tarot
Justice! Justice! You Shall Pursue
“We merely bring to the surface the hidden tension that is already alive. We bring it out in the open where it can be seen and dealt with. Like a boil that can never be cured as long as it is covered up but must be opened with all its pus-flowing ugliness to the natural medicines of air and light, injustice must likewise be exposed, with all of the tension its exposing creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured.” -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Dear Community,
In our house we used to receive a newsletter called “The Klan Watch.” I remember reading it as a young girl, understanding that there were people in the world that wanted to hurt me and African Americans simply because we existed. That newsletter was personal, as was my learning that other people’s oppressions were/are directly related to all oppressions in the world. It wasn’t enough to just work to end my struggle, but it was required of everyone to work to heal the world. As a young girl, stories of the Righteous Among the Nations during the Holocaust inspired me. Would I do the same if I were in their shoes? How would I react if I had to help someone who was being persecuted and harmed by the government? Would I give up my freedom, safety, and security to ensure that another would not suffer death? Frankly, grappling with those questions made me grateful that I was a Jew and would therefore have a whole other set of questions that didn’t have to do with giving up comfort and security to do what is just and life saving. That Klan Watch and learning about the Holocaust from an early age impacted my trajectory greatly.
There was no denying racism with the Klan Watch coming to my mailbox and I am grateful for that. I wasn’t shielded from the knowledge that inequalities existed, which meant I had a chance to help solve the problem. In healing, you must face the dis-ease in order for it to have a chance to resolve, as the quote by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. so strikingly makes. For years, I have written and discussed that discomfort is a necessary and vital part of being a spiritual person. Being with discomfort doesn’t mean sitting on a thumbtack and never getting up. It doesn’t mean not seeking healing for trauma and disease. Sitting in discomfort is about being with the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and body sensations that arise within and acknowledging they are there. When we meet the discomfort we can then move to feeling where ease resides with curiosity and compassion – it’s not an either/or. Sitting with discomfort is cultivating the ability to not turn away from yourself and others in the hour of need. Our hour of need has been here all along as a country and in this moment it’s reaching a crescendo.
Before I went full time with my healing practice, I had another lifetime as a student and instructor of diversity. For close to two decades I spent most of my days thinking, writing, and teaching about issues of oppression. I carried this knowledge with me into private practice, choosing to have it inform my practice structure and materials I use which is a shift from the overt conversations I had in classrooms and communities. To me, oppression impacts our wellness in deep and profound ways. Ending oppression leads to everyone having the human rights they deserve. It leads to healing, wholeness, and empowerment.
As a diversity educator, I led and participated in very uncomfortable and eye opening conversations about race. I repeatedly heard white people deny that they had any responsibility to the racial injustices that were occurring in their world because they didn’t set up the system (“I’m not a racist”), and I witnessed Black students vulnerably tell stories of injustice only to have them repeatedly dismissed by whites. “How do you know they were watching you in the store because you were Black?” “How can you be certain that the police officer stopped you because of your race?” Imagine a conversation where you are repeatedly denied your understanding of the world. A world that is dangerous to you on a daily basis and you share those experiences only to have them met with disbelief instead of empathy and understanding. Imagine the trauma, the exhaustion, and fear that would begin to reside in your being. Imagine generations of experiencing this oppression and it settling in every generation’s DNA. While I as a white woman imagine, many I know and love, this is their lived experience.
One of the most powerful experiences I had was participating in a dialogue where each group – white, Black, Southeast Asian, Latinx, Multiracial, and Middle Eastern all got into groups and listed the stereotypes they held about the other groups. I was in my 20’s and it was really the first time I had thought about someone having stereotypes about me as a racial group. THAT IS PRIVILEGE. (Yes we are intersectionalities of our identities, though not all intersections are places of oppression. It feels important to acknowledge this vital theory/praxis that brings more depth to racial discussions, however a deep dive into intersectionality would considerably lengthen this conversation. In addition, if you are saying in your head “but I am a____________ and at this moment we are oppressed too”, you are missing the urgency that is needed in our country around dismantling racist institutions and practices).
When I taught diversity, I would have students write about their stereotypes. We would write about them and speak about them so the beliefs could come out from hiding and be healed. Not cured (because you aren’t ever cured from having stereotypes), but to speak of them so we could understand and allow them to be aired out from the shame and confusion that shrouded these beliefs. These concepts and beliefs we have of others is not some theoretical finger pointing where we can say “you have them and I don’t.” We all have stereotypes. But the question is what do we do with them? Do we operate from them? The answer is you probably do. And if you are resistant to this fact, we need to talk. Face the hard truth and move to the next phase – what to do with them. We have thoughts that are constructed from stereotypes and we can strive to dismantle and deconstruct them every time we have one. For me, I look for the uncomfortable opportunity to course correct if I have made an action from one of my stereotypes. I say I am sorry; I am an idiot to myself and another if they have been on the receiving end of my action and then I do better next time. I learn, get curious, and evolve. This dismantling racism and other systems of inequality is a process – not a linear destination with a finish line. It’s a fucking marathon that some are beyond exhausted from and others don’t even know that they participating. That is privilege.
There is no perfection in diversity work. As a white person working to end racism, I am certain that I will fuck up a thousand times over. Writing this newsletter gave me pause, because I am certain somewhere in here I have made a misstep. But that knowing and that discomfort shouldn’t be what stop us from speaking out against injustice. For me, when I have been a target of hatred and oppression, the people who used their privilege to speak up when silence was easier are the ones who reside deeply and eternally in my heart. Don’t let the fear of perfection stop you from having conversations, reflecting, learning, speaking up, and taking action when needed.
I continue to wrestle with issues of diversity and especially in the spiritual world. Every time I do a Dagara chart taught to me by Sobonfu, I think “is it ok for me as a white woman to be doing this work that comes from a tradition that isn’t mine?” When I pray the wheel, I have the same question “is it ok for me as a white woman to be praying this way?” When I step onto a yoga mat, “is this ok?” When I take Ayurvedic herbs “is this ok?” For me the answers to these questions are complicated, for someone else it maybe a definitive NO. I am grateful for friends that I can discuss these questions with. They hold my questioning with compassion and wise council. In the spiritual world, as in the mundane world, representation matters. I look for ways to not appropriate traditions, I seek out tarot decks that represent diversity and are created by diverse artists. I value everyone receiving healing and make that commitment through my payment structure. Colorblind (or another denial of experience) isn’t the answer to racism, it’s an erasure of a person’s lived experience. It has no place in a healing space. If someone comes to me to find their wholeness – how can I deny parts of themselves? Does that mean it is ever discussed in our conversations? Most likely not, but I carry with me the understanding that I, as a white woman, have a societal history with the person I am in service to and if they want to discuss race, I can be with that, even if it is uncomfortable. Is all of this enough? Never. Is it a start? Yes.
So if you are a white person, you might be asking why did I write this and/or what can you do? I offer my story here to share my learning and my struggles with discussing race. I hope my perspective and my open discussion inspires you to look for places in your life where you can be vulnerable in learning. What can you do with the guilt, the discomfort, the fear you may feel discussing and helping to dismantle racism. First I want to say, what you are feeling is normal. Second, you must accept how you are feeling and then PUSH THROUGH. Because in this moment your discomfort really isn’t the issue. Carry your discomfort with you into conversation and action. It is ok to fess up and say you are uncomfortable while moving forward. OWN IT. I understand that not everyone can get out and march (though I suggest you ask yourself why aren’t you) but that is not the only valid action to take at the moment. In fact, if you demonstrate without doing the internal work of anti-racism, I would ask who is your demonstration for. It is possible to do anti-racism work no matter where you find yourself – in the boardroom, in a park, a classroom, or in a healing room. Our culture needs you now to not turn away from your own privilege, pain, denial, and heartache. I know it isn’t easy, quick, or painless. This is one of the hardest practices you will ever do! Please let us have courage together and turn towards what is just and healing for all that reside in our community.
I hope that you find this email in the spirit of coming together to heal our community and world. I spoke to white privilege and speaking about helping to dismantle racism from my perspective. I have some awareness of the demographics this humble newsletter reaches and know that it is predominantly white (consistently working on changing that). But I would be remiss if I didn’t speak to the People of Color on this list. FUCK – if you made it this far in this newsletter, thank you. I imagine hearing from another well-intentioned white woman is the last thing you want to do with your day. I also want to say, I cannot ever feel the depth of your anger, rage, frustration, heartache, grief and sadness but I know it is there and I can try in my humblest way to make the world a safer place for you and those you love. These words are not enough. Nothing I can do alone will ever be enough. I am deeply sorry for that. But even though it is not enough, I will continue to not turn away.
Y'all I know this is quite a departure from my typical writing. My sincerest hope since the beginning of this newsletter is that it’s a place to dive deep into humanity, and issues of diversity and our experience of racism and privilege are part of our humanity. To me, this is exactly the space to share the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of our experiences. This sharing and conversing about ALL of life is what brings about healing, connection, and meaning. I invite you to reach out. If you don’t like what this newsletter has shared, please connect with me so we can discuss. Challenged and confused by the ideas, let’s have a conversation. Thankful that this space was broken open for the trauma of racism to see the light of day – please reach out.
I have never been and will never be perfect around issues of race. I have said and done things that make me feel incredibly remorseful. I don't like being uncomfortable (you probably don't like it either). Reflecting on our past actions and words around race is deep and challenging work, especially for whites. Please know that I am here as a resource. Let's work to dismantle this system together. It is more insidious and covert than you think. You cannot do it alone.
I will end by saying that below are resources to learn from. I hope you check them out and continue learning and growing. Together we can be enough. For our only hope is together.
Simply,
Valerie
In our house we used to receive a newsletter called “The Klan Watch.” I remember reading it as a young girl, understanding that there were people in the world that wanted to hurt me and African Americans simply because we existed. That newsletter was personal, as was my learning that other people’s oppressions were/are directly related to all oppressions in the world. It wasn’t enough to just work to end my struggle, but it was required of everyone to work to heal the world. As a young girl, stories of the Righteous Among the Nations during the Holocaust inspired me. Would I do the same if I were in their shoes? How would I react if I had to help someone who was being persecuted and harmed by the government? Would I give up my freedom, safety, and security to ensure that another would not suffer death? Frankly, grappling with those questions made me grateful that I was a Jew and would therefore have a whole other set of questions that didn’t have to do with giving up comfort and security to do what is just and life saving. That Klan Watch and learning about the Holocaust from an early age impacted my trajectory greatly.
There was no denying racism with the Klan Watch coming to my mailbox and I am grateful for that. I wasn’t shielded from the knowledge that inequalities existed, which meant I had a chance to help solve the problem. In healing, you must face the dis-ease in order for it to have a chance to resolve, as the quote by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. so strikingly makes. For years, I have written and discussed that discomfort is a necessary and vital part of being a spiritual person. Being with discomfort doesn’t mean sitting on a thumbtack and never getting up. It doesn’t mean not seeking healing for trauma and disease. Sitting in discomfort is about being with the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and body sensations that arise within and acknowledging they are there. When we meet the discomfort we can then move to feeling where ease resides with curiosity and compassion – it’s not an either/or. Sitting with discomfort is cultivating the ability to not turn away from yourself and others in the hour of need. Our hour of need has been here all along as a country and in this moment it’s reaching a crescendo.
Before I went full time with my healing practice, I had another lifetime as a student and instructor of diversity. For close to two decades I spent most of my days thinking, writing, and teaching about issues of oppression. I carried this knowledge with me into private practice, choosing to have it inform my practice structure and materials I use which is a shift from the overt conversations I had in classrooms and communities. To me, oppression impacts our wellness in deep and profound ways. Ending oppression leads to everyone having the human rights they deserve. It leads to healing, wholeness, and empowerment.
As a diversity educator, I led and participated in very uncomfortable and eye opening conversations about race. I repeatedly heard white people deny that they had any responsibility to the racial injustices that were occurring in their world because they didn’t set up the system (“I’m not a racist”), and I witnessed Black students vulnerably tell stories of injustice only to have them repeatedly dismissed by whites. “How do you know they were watching you in the store because you were Black?” “How can you be certain that the police officer stopped you because of your race?” Imagine a conversation where you are repeatedly denied your understanding of the world. A world that is dangerous to you on a daily basis and you share those experiences only to have them met with disbelief instead of empathy and understanding. Imagine the trauma, the exhaustion, and fear that would begin to reside in your being. Imagine generations of experiencing this oppression and it settling in every generation’s DNA. While I as a white woman imagine, many I know and love, this is their lived experience.
One of the most powerful experiences I had was participating in a dialogue where each group – white, Black, Southeast Asian, Latinx, Multiracial, and Middle Eastern all got into groups and listed the stereotypes they held about the other groups. I was in my 20’s and it was really the first time I had thought about someone having stereotypes about me as a racial group. THAT IS PRIVILEGE. (Yes we are intersectionalities of our identities, though not all intersections are places of oppression. It feels important to acknowledge this vital theory/praxis that brings more depth to racial discussions, however a deep dive into intersectionality would considerably lengthen this conversation. In addition, if you are saying in your head “but I am a____________ and at this moment we are oppressed too”, you are missing the urgency that is needed in our country around dismantling racist institutions and practices).
When I taught diversity, I would have students write about their stereotypes. We would write about them and speak about them so the beliefs could come out from hiding and be healed. Not cured (because you aren’t ever cured from having stereotypes), but to speak of them so we could understand and allow them to be aired out from the shame and confusion that shrouded these beliefs. These concepts and beliefs we have of others is not some theoretical finger pointing where we can say “you have them and I don’t.” We all have stereotypes. But the question is what do we do with them? Do we operate from them? The answer is you probably do. And if you are resistant to this fact, we need to talk. Face the hard truth and move to the next phase – what to do with them. We have thoughts that are constructed from stereotypes and we can strive to dismantle and deconstruct them every time we have one. For me, I look for the uncomfortable opportunity to course correct if I have made an action from one of my stereotypes. I say I am sorry; I am an idiot to myself and another if they have been on the receiving end of my action and then I do better next time. I learn, get curious, and evolve. This dismantling racism and other systems of inequality is a process – not a linear destination with a finish line. It’s a fucking marathon that some are beyond exhausted from and others don’t even know that they participating. That is privilege.
There is no perfection in diversity work. As a white person working to end racism, I am certain that I will fuck up a thousand times over. Writing this newsletter gave me pause, because I am certain somewhere in here I have made a misstep. But that knowing and that discomfort shouldn’t be what stop us from speaking out against injustice. For me, when I have been a target of hatred and oppression, the people who used their privilege to speak up when silence was easier are the ones who reside deeply and eternally in my heart. Don’t let the fear of perfection stop you from having conversations, reflecting, learning, speaking up, and taking action when needed.
I continue to wrestle with issues of diversity and especially in the spiritual world. Every time I do a Dagara chart taught to me by Sobonfu, I think “is it ok for me as a white woman to be doing this work that comes from a tradition that isn’t mine?” When I pray the wheel, I have the same question “is it ok for me as a white woman to be praying this way?” When I step onto a yoga mat, “is this ok?” When I take Ayurvedic herbs “is this ok?” For me the answers to these questions are complicated, for someone else it maybe a definitive NO. I am grateful for friends that I can discuss these questions with. They hold my questioning with compassion and wise council. In the spiritual world, as in the mundane world, representation matters. I look for ways to not appropriate traditions, I seek out tarot decks that represent diversity and are created by diverse artists. I value everyone receiving healing and make that commitment through my payment structure. Colorblind (or another denial of experience) isn’t the answer to racism, it’s an erasure of a person’s lived experience. It has no place in a healing space. If someone comes to me to find their wholeness – how can I deny parts of themselves? Does that mean it is ever discussed in our conversations? Most likely not, but I carry with me the understanding that I, as a white woman, have a societal history with the person I am in service to and if they want to discuss race, I can be with that, even if it is uncomfortable. Is all of this enough? Never. Is it a start? Yes.
So if you are a white person, you might be asking why did I write this and/or what can you do? I offer my story here to share my learning and my struggles with discussing race. I hope my perspective and my open discussion inspires you to look for places in your life where you can be vulnerable in learning. What can you do with the guilt, the discomfort, the fear you may feel discussing and helping to dismantle racism. First I want to say, what you are feeling is normal. Second, you must accept how you are feeling and then PUSH THROUGH. Because in this moment your discomfort really isn’t the issue. Carry your discomfort with you into conversation and action. It is ok to fess up and say you are uncomfortable while moving forward. OWN IT. I understand that not everyone can get out and march (though I suggest you ask yourself why aren’t you) but that is not the only valid action to take at the moment. In fact, if you demonstrate without doing the internal work of anti-racism, I would ask who is your demonstration for. It is possible to do anti-racism work no matter where you find yourself – in the boardroom, in a park, a classroom, or in a healing room. Our culture needs you now to not turn away from your own privilege, pain, denial, and heartache. I know it isn’t easy, quick, or painless. This is one of the hardest practices you will ever do! Please let us have courage together and turn towards what is just and healing for all that reside in our community.
I hope that you find this email in the spirit of coming together to heal our community and world. I spoke to white privilege and speaking about helping to dismantle racism from my perspective. I have some awareness of the demographics this humble newsletter reaches and know that it is predominantly white (consistently working on changing that). But I would be remiss if I didn’t speak to the People of Color on this list. FUCK – if you made it this far in this newsletter, thank you. I imagine hearing from another well-intentioned white woman is the last thing you want to do with your day. I also want to say, I cannot ever feel the depth of your anger, rage, frustration, heartache, grief and sadness but I know it is there and I can try in my humblest way to make the world a safer place for you and those you love. These words are not enough. Nothing I can do alone will ever be enough. I am deeply sorry for that. But even though it is not enough, I will continue to not turn away.
Y'all I know this is quite a departure from my typical writing. My sincerest hope since the beginning of this newsletter is that it’s a place to dive deep into humanity, and issues of diversity and our experience of racism and privilege are part of our humanity. To me, this is exactly the space to share the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of our experiences. This sharing and conversing about ALL of life is what brings about healing, connection, and meaning. I invite you to reach out. If you don’t like what this newsletter has shared, please connect with me so we can discuss. Challenged and confused by the ideas, let’s have a conversation. Thankful that this space was broken open for the trauma of racism to see the light of day – please reach out.
I have never been and will never be perfect around issues of race. I have said and done things that make me feel incredibly remorseful. I don't like being uncomfortable (you probably don't like it either). Reflecting on our past actions and words around race is deep and challenging work, especially for whites. Please know that I am here as a resource. Let's work to dismantle this system together. It is more insidious and covert than you think. You cannot do it alone.
I will end by saying that below are resources to learn from. I hope you check them out and continue learning and growing. Together we can be enough. For our only hope is together.
Simply,
Valerie
Books & Media
Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack
Race: The Power of Illusion
Coalition Politics: Turning the Century
The Body is Not an Apology
This Book is Anti-Racist
Kindred
Me and White Supremacy
White Fragility
Intersectionality as Critical Social Theory
1619 Project
Ain't I a Woman?
Radical Dharma
This Bridge Called My Back
My Grandmother's Hands
What Is White Privilege Really?
Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack
Race: The Power of Illusion
Coalition Politics: Turning the Century
The Body is Not an Apology
This Book is Anti-Racist
Kindred
Me and White Supremacy
White Fragility
Intersectionality as Critical Social Theory
1619 Project
Ain't I a Woman?
Radical Dharma
This Bridge Called My Back
My Grandmother's Hands
What Is White Privilege Really?
Consider donating to activists that are sharing resources on this instagram & facebook pages. Many share their Venmo, Ca$hApp, and PayPal links.
If you are white & wanting more personalized conversations & learning PLEASE reach out to white anti-racist educators at this time. I am available for conversations & resource sharing & I can also direct you to others if you like. It is not the responsibility of Black people to educate us (white people) on their experiences. If you are challenged by this - please reach out. Our conversation will be confidential and compassionate.
If you are white & wanting more personalized conversations & learning PLEASE reach out to white anti-racist educators at this time. I am available for conversations & resource sharing & I can also direct you to others if you like. It is not the responsibility of Black people to educate us (white people) on their experiences. If you are challenged by this - please reach out. Our conversation will be confidential and compassionate.