Beltaine - 2023

​Pleasure is vital to living. It is not a luxury or an after-thought, but the very thing that makes life (which can be so heartbreaking and difficult) worth living. And yet many of us struggle with pleasure. It can be activating to sink into pleasure, we rush through it, and push it off. But for me, the more I can be with pleasure, push my edge of pleasure, the more I can sit with life's challenges. For me, pleasure is what I orient to when I need to persevere and make it through. I hope the message below invites you into exploring pleasure this Beltane and throughout all of the year...

At the end of each day during my intermediate year of Somatic Experiencing training, Berns Galloway, our instructor, would give us our homework, “orient to pleasure.” It was a welcome and sometimes challenging directive at the end of a full day of learning and personally exploring the regions of trauma. 

Pleasure is a word many of us here and our brains say YES! Of course we can experience pleasure. However, the reality is when faced with the real invitation to pleasure, it’s often met with hesitation or a bit of an edge when we lean into it. Pleasure can be scary for so many. We place limitations on pleasure - when, where, how much is acceptable, and in proportion to our productive output. Pleasure is often something to be earned, and not simply pleasure for pleasure sake. 

At this turning point in the natural world, pleasure is a wonderful thing to explore as May Day, Beltane, and Taurus season are upon us. The season is a feast for the senses (sometimes too much so - HELLO allergies). And pleasure is the energy of the season. If it's spring for you new life is unfurling all around - plants, animals, the sun’s renewed warmth. And if Beltane is in the fall, color, leaves drifting to the ground, and the shift light is an invitation to seek pleasure in the current seasonal way. It’s through our senses that we experience awakening and aliveness.

Orienting to pleasure is seeking out what is pleasing to our senses - taste, touch, smell, see, hear, and our inner knowing. It’s allowing what pleases us to move us and embody our being in ways that nourish and soothe. The greater our capacity to orient and experience pleasure I believe gives us greater capacity to be with the fullness of life’s experiences (the uncomfortable, the uncertainty, and the beauty). 

Metabolizing pleasure is an important step. A pleasure bomb won’t really bring us more pleasure, in fact it may keep us seeking pleasure that is never quite gratifying. For example, one of my pleasures is ice cream. Too much of it makes me feel gross, and if I don’t give myself the space and time to be present with the ice cream, I keep wanting more and more until it makes me sick. Being present taste by taste allows my system to fully experience the pleasure as opposed to overwhelming me. Metabolizing, giving ourselves spaciousness and time, allows our nervous system to acclimate to what we are feeling and experiencing. Slowing down our experiences, being spacious and generous with our time when engaging our senses, is the key to fulfillment and deep nourishment. 

Pleasure requires a level of trust and safety. It’s challenging to feel a sense of pleasure in immediate crisis. Our physiology requires some steadiness to experience states that we often try to conjure on demand from ourselves and others - calm, curiosity, and enjoyment. Yes we can be in these states in uncomfortable situations - I can orient to the smallest molecule of pleasure while in an MRI machine (a warm blanket, a stuffed animal) but at least for me that requires a lot of conscious practice before the event and outside reminders during. 

Many of us learn as adults the skills of tending to our nervous systems. We are hungry for healing and a life that is gratifying. These are slow skills, not the quick fix that society demands of us. Our culture isn’t geared towards timelessness and spaciousness, and it can be revolutionary to give this deep reverence of pleasure to ourselves and others. 

This season of rooting into our senses, awakening our beings, I invite you to orient to pleasure. Drop by drop, nourish yourself with what is pleasing and satisfying to you. This is an invitation to be completely, unabashedly you in the beauty, wonder, and awe that fills this season. 

Blessings,

Valerie