When Calm Isn't Easy

I know I have been MIA from your inbox.  Maybe you haven’t even noticed with all the info that comes at us daily. So why break radio silence now? Because that bossy Spirit voice in my head told me to ;-).  The last several years I have taken a deep dive personally and professionally into the nervous system and how it informs our minds, emotions, bodies, and souls. I have learned several valuables tools for myself when my system becomes immobile, traumatized, and straight up full-blown panicked. I guess some universal force thought these tools might be helpful for many of us given the interesting times we find ourselves living in. 
 
You know what doesn’t help when I am panicked?  Someone telling me to calm down and to not be afraid – in all its variations. Right now, there are a lot of don’t be afraid and remain calm messages. But just like if I told you to not think of a polar bear – you can’t help BUT think of polar bear. The same is true of the message – no fear and be calm. It can cause frustration, confusion, shame, and an activated nervous system when we ignore what our system is doing. For those of us that have a sensitive nervous system (a finely tuned instrument if you will) it can be challenging to find stillness and quiet when we are trying to stay informed, and so much is electrifying our systems. So I wanted to pop in one sensitive to another and give some concrete pointers on how to turn down your system. This is not an exhaustive list. Much you might already know, but some maybe new tools for your nervous system. This list isn't a perfection list - it's a practice list. Downshifting your nervous system is a cumulative practice. Some of these tips may give you a big reward and others may give you a tiny shift. Both are valid options for your system. I hope you find this list useful!  As always, reach out if you need me!! 
Namaste, Valerie 

• Acknowledge you are afraid (worried, anxious, etc). Just acknowledge it without trying to change it, make it go away, etc. Being anxious right now is SUPER normal. Repeat that to yourself. It’s super normal and it's ok. And its also normal to be mad that you are afraid, anxious, worried. That inner critic voice is there for so many of us. So as much as you can just notice what emotions you are having. And then notice where you feel it in your body. Is it tingly, tight, buzzy, etc. Give words to the sensations you are feeling.
• Physical distancing doesn’t mean social isolation. Video chat with a friend. Look out the window to the house next door and talk through your window, text, phone call, join an online class. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Need someone to video chat with? Reach out to me – happy to connect.
• IF you are anxious/afraid (activated) do a video chat with a trusted person and ask them to just be with you. The words they can say to you are “I’m here with you." “I see you.” Look into their eyes – see their humanity, their calmness, their steadiness. Let it wash over you. This type of connection is what we all need at all times in our life. It is critical to our growth and many have never had this kind of unconditional validation. Your friend can also tell you how you are feeling is ok. And if they start to get all advice giving on you, tell them that is not what you need right now. 
• Feel your fingers and toes. Wiggle them around. Not big movements, just noticing your fingers and toes. Also look around. Look out a window, around your room, let your eyes see something that soothes them.
• Softening your gaze is proven to relax nervous system. Allow your peripheral vision to expand, lessen your focus.
• Lengthen your exhales. I like to send my exhales down to my feet. Inhale and then send the exhale slowly to your feet. Do this multiple times.
• Self touch. Massaging your body before a shower with some yummy oil. Putting your hands on your opposite shoulders and give yourself a hug. Massage your legs and feet.
• Warm baths, soft lightening, candles, calming lavender, rose, pine, cedar smells
• Hug a pet and/or a stuffed animal
• Lay on the floor in bridge pose and put a block or books under your hips and breathe slowly – calms the vagal nerve.
• Create art, read a book, move your body, read a journal
• Go outside for a walk if you can. Or lay out in the fresh air
• Tea and warm water
• Yoga nidra – super helpful for calming baseline stress. Google yoga nidra and free recordings will come up. 
• Lay down and put your palms over your eyes. You will see movement. Look for the dark areas and see if you can allow them to grow. Give your eyes time to bath in the darkness. 
• Nap, watch TV, give yourself permission to walk away from your trigger and zone out. 
• Call in Spirit, your ancestors, God/Goddess – call them in even if you can’t feel them, don’t think it is working, think you are too stressed to do it.
• Be open to your system shifting. Grasping to the panic is common. Trying letting rice or dirt run through your fingertips to feel what surrender viscerally feels like.
• Get help if you need it. You can text HOME to 741741 and a counselor will connect with you. It is free help 24/7.